


Clipped wings

by gingerprick



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Tokyo Ghoul, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:40:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24073102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingerprick/pseuds/gingerprick
Summary: Au where kaneki is a former CCG investigator and takes an interest in overly aggresive ghoul who works at a nice little coffee shop.Kankei is 21 while Touka is 20
Relationships: Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise/Kirishima Touka
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to try and make Kaneki a mix of his strong white haired self and his polite and sorta naive brown haired self. I'm basically trying to make him confidant but that will expand as his history starts getting revealed.
> 
> First time actually trying to write something so we'll see how this goes, any feedback is welcome.

# Chapter 1

It's the start of the rainy season in Tokyo and ken kaneki can't help but emulate the downtrodden mood that comes with it. He walk through the streets looking for some where to take shelter cursing the weather for its sudden shift but more so cursing himself for ignoring the weather report that surely told him that he should have at least brought his collapsible umbrella.  
After a less then Stella 5-minute walk, he somehow finds somewhere that seems like a suitable place to wait for the rain clear up. The sign above him saying Anteiku and the aesthetic immediately gave away it being a quaint little cafe. Kaneki opened the door with a jingle of the bell to immediately be greeted by two very distinct scents, delicious food and even more delicious coffee, despite it being just after 1 o'clock, the place was practically empty aside from the 2 customers in the back corner clearly rushing to finish some sort of assignment and the waiters and waitresses pottering about.

  
"Good evening sir" An old man hummed from behind the counter as kaneki wandered to a stool directly in front of him, kaneki would have responded but was instead too enraptured taking in the cafe, the beautiful wood of the counter and the stools, the floor boards that radiated the coffee smell that was almost intoxicating. he almost let himself just doze off while savouring the environment before quickly opening his eyes remembering that he should probably order something and not just take a nap in this cafe. "Your cafe is beautiful" is the only thought that kaneki could articulate. The older gentleman chuckled to himself "Thank you sir, I'm quite proud of it, what would you like today?" "I'll just have a coffee black and any sandwich you recommend?" He felt bad not having an order ready but Kaneki wasn't much of an eater anyways. "Coming right up" the old man said as he turned around to get the beans off the shelf behind him.

  
Kaneki took the time to further inspect the cafe, he looked at the employees currently cleaning and polishing tables, A tallish woman with brown hair tied behind her head was chatting with a slightly bulkier the average man with less than flatter haircut wearing an equally less flattering bow tie. Kaneki’s eyes hovered to the teenagers from ealier grumbling about their assignment, he noticed a girl about his age or maybe a year younger in a uniform, her bluey violet hair framed her face and draped over one of her eyes.  
Kaneki caught himself staring at her just a little longer then what he deemed not creepy noting how she was like the smell of the cafe, dangerously capable of making him lose himself to his senses. "Here's your coffee young man" The older gentleman who kaneki assumed to be the manager gently placed a small cup filled with steaming coffee in front of him. Kaneki smiled while quietly lifting the cup to his lips and sipping the drink

  
"please, call me Kaneki"  
"Yoshimura" he responded holding his hand out, Kaneki responded with his own shake.

  
Kaneki went back to sipping his coffee and started to nibble on the sandwich that was placed beside his cup when Yoshimura broke the silence asking "What brought you to my quiet shop this afternoon Kaneki" Kaneki smirked to himself before looking out the window and responding "My inability to listen to our local weatherman", his response eliciting a deep chuckle from Yoshimura.

There bonding moment being cut short by the purpled haired waitress. "I'm glad you're enjoying your chat with our customer Yoshimura-san but I need two more americano's for our only other customers." It came out snarky, but Kaneki could easily pick up the playful attitude that accompanied it, clearly showing the bond the two had, something Kaneki was a bit envious of in all honesty. "Coming right up Touka--chan, maybe you could keep kaneki-san here entertained while I get to work" The waitress didn't look as pleased to chat as Yoshimura was surely hoping cause she just rolled her eyes and offered Kaneki a slight nod while waiting for the coffee to be brewed.

The silence was also palpable between the two before kaneki decided to test to break it  
“So Touka-cha-“  
“Kirishima-san to you” she cut off far too quickly for any sort of joke Kaneki may have been able to make.  
“Kirishima-san, how long have you been working at this café?” Kaneki thought that was a completely safe and reasonable way to start the conversation, Touka however wasn’t pleased by a stranger asking questions.  
“Why do you want to know?” She said clearly trying to end the conversation not expecting Kaneki to rest his hand on his chin and ponder the question.

After a few second, he opens his eyes with a look that shows he clearly isn’t pleased with his answer, or lack thereof,  
“you make a good point, maybe it’s a force of habit or maybe I just wanted to talk to you”  
This makes Touka blush if for just a second and Yoshimura give a hearty laugh, the other two older employees laugh under their breath. It takes a moment for Kaneki to realise what he just said and immediately blush as bright as Touka, he stands up and gives a deep bow.  
“I’m very sorry Kirishima-san, I didn’t mean to say that last part out loud”  
Everyone now aside from Touka and kaneki were now laughing without even trying to hide it and all Touka could respond with was “Just forget it dumbass” while trying the calm the blush.

Kaneki sat back down on the bar stool and continued to drink his coffee and finish his sandwich. He looked at his watch and nearly choked on his coffee, It was 5 O’clock, what happened to just getting out of the rain, How long had he been smelling the floorboards… how long had he been staring at Touka. A slight blush rose as he pulled out money to pay for his meal.

“Thank you, Yoshimura-san, that was truly delicious.”  
Yoshimura just smiled in return as he collected the money.  
“You’re welcome to come here any time Kaneki”  
Kaneki saw Touka stiffen in his periphery at his proposal, Kaneki smile ever so slightly knowing he was at least on the waitress’s mind be it positive or not.  
“I’ll take you up on that offer, and Yoshimura-san, your coffee was truly delicious”  
Kaneki gave a bow before walking past Touka and leaving the shop.

On his way home, Kaneki’s mind wondered off to his day, He had planned to get a new book from the library today but he had somehow spent his entire morning helping his friend and roommate Hide cram for college exam later that day and then spent his entire afternoon smelling coffee and looking at a cute waitress, a small smile formed on his lips, I guess there are worst ways to waste a day away.

He was about 10 minutes away from home before Kaneki got a text from Hide asking him to get them some more milk, The time read 5:40, the nearest convenience store was about 20 minutes away from his place, Kaneki sighed, she should just tell Hide to suck it up and eat toast for breakfast but he knows that if did that, he’s never hear the end of it. He laughed at the thought of his Friend having a hissy fit complaining about dry Breakfast.

On his way to the convenience store Kaneki heard a loud crash from what sounded like a few streets over, it wasn’t uncommon to hear loud noises in Tokyo at night but the sounds Kaneki could hear definitely didn’t belong to a car or construction equipment it was a sound he was all too familiar with, the thought of the cute little waitress flashed through his head for a moment and Kaneki sighed.  
‘What was the saying, curiosity killed the cat, I guess it never said anything about killing a dove though’ Kaneki thought before making his way over to the source of the commotion.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to try writing a fight scene and after reading and re-reading, i think i'm happy with how it tunred out, Though i'm not confidant with distinguishing perspective and tense.  
> Any feedback it welcome.

# Chapter 2

Kaneki made his way towards the sounds, weaving through the backstreets and alleys of Tokyo, with each step closer he could feel his muscles getting tenser, not from fear but from simple instinct. As he continued, the sounds became more and more clear, to the un-trained ear, one could mistake the sounds for steel clashing against steel but to Kaneki, it was a noise he was all too familiar with. It wasn’t steel weapons clashing, but instead kagunes.

Kaneki turned yet another corner to find himself underneath an over pass onlooking two ghouls currently engaged in battle, Kaneki ducked back as quietly as he could in an instant and looked at the battle. The fight was taking place about 20 metres away and at the speed they were moving, most people wouldn’t be able to make out what exactly was happening, but to Kaneki it was as clear as day, the ghoul closest to him with his back turned was a male Bikaku type with a blue Kagune wrapping around his leg while the ghoul furthest from him was a female Ukaku type with a single glowing red wing coming from her shoulder blade.

Kaneki’s attention however wasn’t on her admittedly pretty wing but instead on her Blue hair, and even from where he was hiding, he could smell the coffee wafting off her, clouding his mind for just a second. It was the waitress from Anteiku, Kaneki had had his suspicions about the staff but this proves it.

He could tell that Touka was out of breath and was being pushed back by the other ghoul with light brown hair, they were talking to each other but even with his improved hearing, he couldn’t pick up what they were muttering, from the scowl on her face, it was clear they weren’t just sparring with each other. Before Kaneki could even realise what he was planning, his hand had moved into his bag and latching onto his mask, he pulled it out and looking over it, a simple gimp mask with a haunting grin of teeth and gum stared back at him.

Kaneki let out a quiet sigh knowing now what it is he was going to do, he pulled off the brown wig he had been wearing all day, actually quite relieved to be rid of the damp itchy mess and letting his white hair flow out, He zipped on his mask and pulled out a knife from a hidden pocket in his bag, he inspected the knife, flipping it in the air before letting gracefully find it's home in his hand, quickly becoming a part of his body. He casually walked out towards the two ghouls, noticing Touka lying against a pillar with the brown-haired ghoul making his way towards her.

Neither of them noticing the new party until Kaneki let a tune whistle from his mouth, a song from his childhood that always brought back bitter memories but helped him focus. The two ghouls stiffened clearly not expecting anyone to distub there fight, the brown-haired ghoul spun around on his heal to find the source of the of the new threat, his Kakugan meeting with Kaneki’s dull Grey Eyes.

“Who the hell are you” the brown-haired ghoul snarled, the tone causing Kaneki to tense up further, readying his body for battle much to his dismay and annoyance.

Kaneki simply responded with a shrug

“Good question, though I can’t give you much in the way of an answer”

The ghoul eyed kaneki cautiously, noticing a lack of a Kakugan or Kagune but staring at his mask and knife, he obviously couldn’t make heads or tails on what kaneki was? Another ghoul, a dove or just an idiot.

Kaneki glanced towards Touka, curious to see if she recognised him even with the mask and differing hair colour, Her face just showed confusion mcuh like the other ghoul and Kaneki felt a bit of tension release from his shoulders.

The ghoul took the chance while Kaneki wasn't paying attention and quickly lunged at Kaneki, assuming that he was just some no named punk trying to be a hero, however, kaneki felt the sudden change in air pressure, smirking knowing that the ghoul had taken his bait, the ghoul was above him now about to bring his foot and Kagune down on his head, Kaneki simply hopped to the side narrowly avoiding the kick which had left a crater in the concrete, the ghouls face gave away his obvious confusion to kaneki dodging without even really looking at him. Kaneki decided to take advantage of this with an attack of his own, after landing on his left foot, his propelled himself back towards where he orginally was, he bounced up and brought his right foot across the ghouls head with a thunderous crack, the two in the air for only an instant before the pressure of his kick propelling the ghoul a good 10 metre away from where they had just been.

The ghoul slowly raises his body off the ground, dizzy from the initial kick but more stunned that this white haired idiot managed to actually hurt him, the man didn’t smell like a ghoul but even the stronger doves that he’s faced have never physically strong.This human wasn’t normal.

Kaneki started moving towards the ghoul, slowly at first before immediately breaking out into a sprint closing the distance between the two, the ghoul tryed to swing his Kagune wrapped foot against Kanreki’s side only to be blocked by his knife, feeling the pressure that the ghoul was putting into his kick, Kaneki let his feet leave the ground while rotating his body as he was pushed to the side, the ghoul stumbled under the lack of resitance as Kaneki finishes his rotation in mid-air landing on the other side, he grabs the ghoul's shoulder and turns him towards kaneki as he drives his knee deep into the ghouls stomach.

The ghoul stumbles back clutching his stomach, but Kaneki doesn’t let up his assault, he flips the knife in his hand to a more comfortable position and begins slashing at the ghoul, making an effort to inflict only shallow scratches rather then then deep stabs. The pain causing the ghoul to become frustrated as he can’t keep up with Kaneki’s speed. The ghoul attempts to create some distance by leaping back into air but Kaneki takes advantage by dashing towards a pillar across from him, he takes three large steps up the pillar before pushing his entire weight off flinging himself towards the ghoul in the air.

The ghoul notices Kaneki diving towards him and makes a desperate attempt to manoeuvre his body to a position where he skewer Kaneki with his Kagune but all he does it give kaneki a perfect opportunity to stab his lower back causing the ghoul to retract his Kagune.

They both tumble to ground, The ghoul landing flat on his back winding himself as Kaneki rolls across the ground and into kneeling position, as the ghoul pulls his back on the ground, his is meeted by Kaneki’s knee now crashing into his face, the sickening crunch of his nose reverberating through the overpass. The ghoul goes tumbling back before rolling over to clutch his nose.

He looks up at kaneki as he walks towards him, noting the cold hard stare coming from the masked man and feeling something he hasn’t felt for quite a while, genuine fear for his life. He can’t do anything but stare at his would be assailant, he closes his eyes knowing how he wouldn’t be coming home to her tonight.

But after what feels like an enternity passes, he opens to his eyes and only see’s the mans back as he walk away from him.

“Just get out of here before the doves decide to check what the commotion is all about.”

The ghoul just lays there slack jawed, he pulls himself up and give stares and Kaneki for just a second before fleeing into some dark alley.

Kaneki just hopes that his blood trail doesn’t give him away. He begins walking back to the alley where he had placed his bag and notices Touka still laying against the pillar, her breathing very heavy. Kaneki watches her as she stares at him with fear in her eyes.

‘She probably thinks I’m a monster, I guess she isn’t wrong’ Kaneki thinks to himself before letting out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding, he walks towards Touka seeing her get tenser and tenser as he gets closer to her.

She looked quite beat up and exhausted, cuts and bruises evident across her entire body. As he continued closer, he noticed a bit too late that he should have focused on the glowing wing and not her body, because he doesn’t have enough time to fully dodge the quills that now impale his left up.

Touka hadn’t intended to turn the guy into a pin cushion. She just sure what he was, he smelled like a human, a delicious human, but his strength wasn’t normal, even doves that train for years are still physically weaker than any b rank ghoul with half a mind for fighting. And that shitty Nishiki wasn’t an amateur as much as she hates to admit it. It was clear that he wasn’t some normal person, but he let Nishiki get away, even when he was given the golden opportunity, he just walked away with a cold sad look in his eyes. And now he just stands in front of her, not even flinching from her attack, she watches in amazement as the her quills just pop out of his arm and watches in equal parts horror and wonder as his skin starts to stitch itself back together. She can’t help but let the word fall out of her mouth.

“What are you?”

She seems him give a small smile that she swears is holding an entire worlds worth sadness as he responds.

“Good question”


	3. Chapter 3

# Chapter 3

Kaneki stares down at the girl in front of him, the fear in her eyes making his stomach churn, he hadn’t intended on frightening her, though he can’t say that he doesn’t understand, she had just watched a fairly normal looking human over power a ghoul in hand to hand combat and had his arm go from being a pin cushion to completely normal in a matter of seconds. Regardless, it didn’t make the look she was giving him hurt any less.

He would have just turned on heels and walked away had he not been acutely aware of how much she needed help, her breaths are ragged and he could tell she was struggling to keep herself up right, he was sure that she was starving.

He tried to get close to help her up, but she recoiled the instant he made any form of movement. Kaneki wasn’t sure what he could do. Well aside from one thing…

Touka just wanted this day to be over, she was late to her classes at university and was called in to cover for Roma who had decided to take a day off. She wasn’t even really needed as Anteiku experienced one of its many slow days and not to mention how one of their very few customers she had the pleasure of interacting with, was a human who inadvertently hit on her. To top it all off, she managed to get caught by shitty Nishiki telling her how this was his hunting ground and ending up on the receiving end of an ass kicking. Dammit she was hungry.

So now she’s battered, humiliated and possibly about to be killed by this not quite human, only he wasn’t killing her, if anything, he was being overly wary of her, her Kagune couldn’t have hurt him that much, there wasn’t even any marks from where she had hit him and she didn’t have any energy to summon her Kagune anymore so why wasn’t he doing anything.

It felt like hours has passed between the two, neither really moving, whenever he tried to, Touka would flinch involuntarily, expect him to do something. And he did, it was just the last thing she would have anticipated. He grabbed the knife he had carried with him at the beginning of this whole ordeal, he held it in his right hand and brought it up to his left shoulder, and with the precision of what she could only describe as a mad scientist, cut off a chunk of his arm. The face he made contrasting incredibly with the action, it was a mixture of slight discomfort and just a greater annoyance as the blade cleanly sliced through flesh and muscle. Once he had finished the motion, the fresh piece of meat fell onto his open palm. He eyed it for only a moment examining how much he had actually and taken off. And then chucked in Touka’s direction.

Completely stunned by the whole series of events, Touka could only respond with a yelp as the meat landed with a wet thud against the concrete in front of her. She stared at the it for moment and then back to the man as he watched his shoulder start to reform itself, not as quickly as his arm did but quicker then any ghouls regenerative ability would have been capable of.

The whole action didn’t necessarily hurt Kaneki, he honestly had difficulty feeling any form of physical pain since that day but it still felt strange, having the cold air of the Tokyo night blowing against his raw flesh, as soon as he had noticed it though, the wound was closing and the muscles and tissue were being reconstructed with thin red tendrils similar to what you’d find on spider lilies.

He looked back to Touka after making sure his shoulder didn’t grow back weirdly, he sighed when he saw her looking at the piece of his shoulder he had just thrown in front her. He really was just digging himself a deeper hole with every passing moment. He decided that it was up to her if she wanted to eat it so he turned around to walk away only to be stopped by her voice.

“Why are you helping me?” The question sounded so genuine, like she couldn’t wrap her head around a human helping a ghoul.

Kaneki kept his back to her as he pondered her question, there was only so much time in the day and to explain his reasoning would take up both of their nights. He landed on something simple “I don’t like seeing others hurt” and with that he walked away to get his bag, not sparing her another glance or waiting for her to respond, it’s been a long day and Kaneki just wanted to sleep.

When he got back to his bag, he took off the mask and pocketed it with his knife, concealing them within a hidden pocket of his bag, he put the wig back on and made his way home.

Touka couldn’t even describe how good the meat tasted, she was apprehensive at first, assuming that it must have been some new trick concocted by the doves to poison ghouls. She was fully prepared to just throw it in a dumpster, but as she managed to hobble her way towards the meat, the scent had filled her nose entirely with what she could only imagine humans refer to as a sweet flavour.

Her hunger got the better of her and in an instant, she had bitten down into the tender meat. The flesh almost melting in her mouth much like how her friend had described steak to her. And just as quickly as she had started eating it, the piece was consumed in its entirety, Touka could feel her strength coming back to her, able to stand comfortably and walk even better. Her cuts and grazes from her fight with Nishiki already starting to heal. She made her way to the alley that the masked man had walked down but he was gone without a single trace.

Touka berates herself on the way home, wondering what she would have done if he happened to be there, It’s not like she could just ask for more meat, but images of the white haired man kept fluttering through her mind, The way he moved with a deadly precision and a complete lack of wasted effort. His muscles clearly defined through his sweatshirt and the way he twirled his knife in his hand like he had absolute trust it would come back regardless of where moved. Her mind continued to his eyes, at one moment, they were the eyes of a battle hardened veteran, another time they were glazed and un caring, lacking any and all emotion and then suddenly they were so incredibly sad, like he had seen all the horrors the world could possibly throw his way and he was just forced to just watch it all.

Before she even realised it, she was back at Anteiku which also acted as her home, she realised she had spent the entire trip thinking of the man and she could now feel a blush building up her neck towards her face. That’s twice today that a complete stranger had made he blush, and she was starting to get annoyed by how easy it seemed to be.

Kaneki managed to finally walk through his door after what felt like years, he was greeted immediately by the smell of instant coffee and the sound of a basketball game in the other room. Kaneki let out a small sigh of exhaustion and went to put the milk in the fridge. As soon as he opened the door he could swear Hide had a sixth sense because he heard from the other room

“Yo kaneki, could you pass me a pudding cup?”

Kaneki couldn’t help his smile as he grabbed one the possibly hundreds of cups from the fridge and chucked it to Hide on his way to his bedroom.

“Thanks Ken, how’d your book thingy go”

Kaneki just let out a long sigh, he had almost forgotten the whole reason he went out today in the first place.

“I didn’t even end up going, I got distracted by the rain and ended up spending the day in a café”

Hide just stared at his friend, almost nothing in this world could distract Ken Kaneki from a new book, now he was intrigued.

“Oh really” he smirked “What’s the name of this incredible café?”

Kaneki was honestly considering keeping it to himself, mainly because he enjoyed the quiet feeling of Anteiku but also slightly because he didn’t want his best friend hitting on the waitress and thus getting possibly killed by the waitress, but he relented.

“Anteiku, I’ll take you sometime”

“It’s a date” Hide beamed and went back to watching the game munching on some chips that Kaneki was sure he was going to clean in the morning, but that would be a problem for tomorrow, right now Kaneki just made his way to his room and flopped down onto his bed, tossing his still damp wig to the corner of the room and quietly drifted off to sleep praying that tonight would be a night without his bone chilling nightmares. But Kaneki was never that lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I'm getting better at clearly showing who's POV it is whe it's changed but i'm still unsure.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is gonna be a shorter chapter, I have some things planned out but I needed to do some set up, I hope this is still of good enough quality to justify it. I also wanted to try and get at least one chpater out a day so here it is. Enjoy

# Chapter 4

Kaneki finds himself standing in a room that’s all too familiar to him, the cold black and white tiles under his feet chilling him to his very core, the stench of blood invading every inch of his nose and lungs. It’s not a new sensation but not one he’d ever be truly comfortable with, a cold sweat starting to spread throughout his entire body as he stares at an empty wooden chair wrapped in chains waiting for it’s next occupant, it takes all his willpower not to truly panic at the sight. Time passed slowly, seeming to come to a standstill… Until he hears the clang of the Pliers.

Kaneki’s eyes shoot open and before he can get a grasp on his senses, he’s on the ground clutching himself, hyperventilating. Its takes a while until he manages to get his breathing under control and release the grip he has on his self, the marks of a bruise already showing on his arm before they quickly heal. He rubs his hand through his hair, slick with sweat and breathes a heavy breath knowing he’s safe. The sun barely flitters across his room, his internal clock telling him it’s around 6 am.

He dared not risk another nightmare that came with seeking more sleep so Kaneki took his time getting up, waiting until he was sure that his legs wouldn’t give out at the slightest action before he made his way towards the kitchen. His body feeling lethargic and numb, he walked through the living room and saw his friend snoring happily on the couch, drool leaving a very visible puddle, this made kaneki smile if only a little bit, at least Hide could have some happy dreams. He arrived at the kitchen and started the kettle, grabbing his coffee grounds from the shelf. Kaneki looked at the clock and saw it was 6:30, ‘close enough’ kaneki shrugged to himself before retuning to the boiled kettle. The book store opened at 7 so he could probably leave now and manage to get there just as it opened considering there wasn’t much else he could do here anyway. The real truth being that Kaneki was desperate to put as much distance between himself and his room as possible.

After he finished his coffee, Kaneki wrote a note to Hide fully expecting it to be ignored and to be texted about his whereabouts later. The cool breeze of winter rustling against his wig, he knew that he should stop prolonging it and just dye his hair but every time he tried to buy the brown dye, he just left it untouched. 'A wig is much more convenient anyway' typically being his go to excuse ignoring the obvious reason why he couldn’t bring himself to change it.

Kaneki wasn’t exactly stunned to find the book store empty right as it opened, he was actually sort of grateful, he could peruse the shelfs with just the soft music playing overhead, it wasn’t silent which made him feel so much calmer, it was something to keep his attention, to distract him from his thoughts. He walked down the aisle slowly, taking in the scent of the books and enjoying the comfort of being surrounded by them before stopping in front of what he had been looking for originally. Takatsuki Sen’s newest book ‘The black goat’s egg’. Kaneki was slow to pick it up, he rubbed his finger against the cover and smiled to himself, he walked back to counter at a brisker pace than before handing it to the clerk who just stared at him obviously weirded out by his smile before yawning and ringing the book up.

As kaneki started his Journey home his mind started to wander back to his dream, It wasn’t something new, he didn’t have nightmares every night but when he did, it was always the same, him standing in that room and staring at that chair, some times the pliers would start from the beginning and he’s just have to stand that paralysed, praying that he’d wake up before they came too close, sometimes he was lucky and they didn’t show up at all, but that did nothing to quench his fear from simply being there.

When he came back to his sense, Kaneki had noticed he had walked right in front of Anteiku, he sighed to himself knowing that it would have been smarter to not come back for a few days to avoid suspicion, but the smell of coffee must have drawn him there while he was lost in thought. He was about to try the handle before seeing the closed sign, 'maybe they opened late?' He realised that just waiting for the shop to open would be the pinnacle of looking suspicious, so he resigned himself to going home and just having his instant coffee, he turned around only to immediately bump into someone, he opened his eyes to a see a girl about to fall over and his body reacted on it’s own and before he could process what had happened, he was holding a Touka around her waist with his face dangerously close to hers.

The two just stayed like that for a time, both to stunned by what had just happened and unsure how exactly to proceed. After a moment Touka broke the silence.

“So are you going to let me stand by myself?’ she asked trying to sound confidant but it came out more comical than anything.

Kaneki’s eyes widened as if he had just realised the position they were in. He quickly pulled her forward letting her stand. He bowed deeply before quickly rising and started walking away, trying to hide the blush on his face.

He was fully prepared to leave before he was stopped by her question.

“Did you want me to make you some coffee”

He turned around slowly and smiled softly at her, he knew that he should just say no and thank her for her kindness, he should just cut this entire place from his existence because he knew that it's be better for all parties in the long run. He shoud just leave.

“I’d love some coffee”


	5. Chapter 5

# Chapter 5

The door opened with a pleasant ding, and the scent of coffee that drew Kaneki there rushed out and enveloped him. But it still wasn’t as comforting as the scent that clung to Touka’s clothes, he hadn’t noticed it before because he was too flustered but now that he put some distance between the two of them and she wasn’t on the verge of starvation, she was very pretty. Her body slender and toned from what he assumes were years of fighting. Her hair a soft blue colour on the verge of purple and her eyes shone with a similar colour, but it wasn’t the colour that captured his attention, it was sad gaze she had, but not like the one that he often wore, it was sadness mixed with hope and frustration, he was sure that they had seen just as much hardship as his but still held so much more life then his had for quite some time.

He moved to take a seat at the counter and just watched as she went about making his coffee, entranced by the way she was fully focused on it, he could tell that she gave her entire attention to making sure it turned out well. The two just waited in silence and let time slip away, before long Kaneki’s focus was broken with a gentle thud as a small mug filled with coffee and adorned with a cute but oddly crude looking rabbit drawn in cream was placed in front of him.

And for the first time it what felt like years, he smiled, not a smile of sadness or a smile to make others not worry, a true smile that came from his appreciation for her effort and company. He looked up at Touka and saw her staring intently critiquing her own art.

“Cute”

She immediately blushed

“Huh”

“I said it’s cute” he kept his smile and brought the drink to his lips and took a small sip letting the flavours dance on his tongue before eventually swallowing. One sip became many and before he realised, he had finished his cup. And then his smile faded.

Touka couldn’t help but notice his change in expression.

“Was it not good”

She did everything correctly it should have been fine, maybe she didn’t enough sugar in it, or maybe the beans weren’t ground enough or maybe-

“No, it was delicious, better than the managers even”

And now she was confused.

“Then why do look sad?”

He didn’t say anything for a bit and Touka was getting starting to get nervous, maybe she shouldn’t have invited him in, but she felt he was just being nice stopping her from falling earlier (even though it was technically his fault) and she would have felt bad if she didn’t repay him in some way.

He slowly looked up and grabbed her attention with his voice.

“I don’t really know, I just felt sad knowing I don’t get to see that weird looking rabbit” he chuckled softly at the look Touka gave him after insulting her rabbit.

“It isn’t that big of a deal; it was just cream”

The look he gave her almost sucked her breath away, his small smile felt so forced and his eyes looked all too familiar, she couldn’t quite pinpoint why but it felt like his gaze was burning a hole through her entire person, peeling away all the layers she had placed to keep people away.

“I guess you’re right, but he was a part of your story and it feels sad when a part of your story ends abruptly” He laughed but it sounded forced, like he didn’t really want to be taken seriously.

A moment of silence passed between the two before she asked

“What about you, do you have a story?”

Kaneki was taken aback; he probably shouldn’t have been considering it was a natural follow up to what he had just said but he was surprised by how direct it was. He wasn’t even sure if had taken the time to really think of his own story, maybe because he couldn’t or maybe because he hadn’t wanted to. He let out a shaky breath before looking back at Touka and saying.

“Yeah, I guess I do, but it’s not a happy one.

“Join the club” she mused

The two just waited, not really for the other the start the conversation but for any form of stimulus to break them out of their thoughts. Kaneki was the first.

Kaneki stood from the stool and gave a polite bow to Touka, he thanked her for the delicious coffee and walked out the door, he was contempt with making this there final goodbye, he had no reason to tangle her in his life and the issues that came with it and he had no intent of interfering with the world of ghouls anymore. Kaneki knew this was for the best. Which is why he was shocked to hear the jingle of the bell and then felt a hand on his shoulder spin him around. Touka was looking at him like he was about to disappear, and she asked

“You’re the one who helped me last night aren’t you?”

And all Kaneki could do was give her another one of his sad smiles.

She wasn’t sure what to think, he had left so suddenly, maybe he was just being polite, maybe he didn’t want to overstay his welcome, they were closed after all. Perhaps he would back later when they were open. She didn’t have any reason to care, he was just a human customer, he was annoying, he kept making her blush. She has no reason to think about him any longer.

She huffed and turned on heel to head upstairs to her apartment, but she didn’t get two steps up before she turned back around and dashed toward the door. She spun around looking for the brown-haired boy, why were those eyes so familiar, why did he smell so good, why did it feel like he knew who she was with only a few sentences.

She spotted him walking away at a brisk pace like he was trying to escape from something, like he was trying to escape from her. Images of her Father and brother overlapped on his silhouette and she panicked for just a second, he was going to leave her too. She sprinted to him and grabbed his shoulder.

She realised the moment their eyes met who he was, the image of the man with white hair the night before flashed and she asked. And his smile was all the answer she needed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a hott mess to write, I wrote and re-wrote different parts of it and nearly scrapped the enitre thing but i think I did a good enough job setting up the base for almost all the future chapters. I hope you enjoy

# Chapter 6

They both made there way back to Anteiku knowing that their conversation should not be privy to others right now. Kaneki sat himself back at the counter and Touka went about making them some more coffee. After she was finished, and two cups were on the counter Kaneki felt a sudden wave of nausea after realising the situation he was in. His panic only exasperated by her sitting right next to him.

He was surprised when she had broken the silence with her first question

“Why did you help me last night when you knew I was a ghoul”

Kaneki felt he shoulders get slightly less tense, at least this was a question he had an answer for.

“Like I said, I don’t like seeing people get hurt”

Her face indicated this wasn’t the answer she was looking for, but she didn’t press him further, she just moved onto her next question.

“Where did you learn to fight like that”

All the tension that was released with the last question came back right away. Kaneki thought that he should try and lie but when he looked at Touka he knew she’d see right past it. He let out a heavy sigh and resigned himself to telling her the truth, it was only a matter of time now anyway.

“I was once a dove, up until a couple of years ago”

A heavy silence blanketed the room, Kaneki couldn’t bring himself to look at her directly, so he just focused on his cup of coffee which hadn’t been touched. He could just barely see her in his peripheral vision, but he could tell she was fighting back an urge to just outright smack him across the room, but she didn’t, and that made him even more nervous, Physical injuries weren’t a big deal for him, it was the emotional injuries that stuck around and haunted his dreams.

“What happened to make you leave”

He didn’t look at her, he felt his hands tense and kept all his focus on not crushing the cup in front of him. Years of memories flowed through his head, the people he met and called friends, the mentors who has taught him and thought of as family, the people he swore to help and protect and made feel wanted. And the day when he came to learn it was all just a lie, a way of making him complacent, a way of making him obey. A way to keep their own hands clean. And in an instant the cup shattered, shards of china slicing through his hand while blood and coffee mixed together on the counter.

Startled, Touka went to clean his hand only to be stopped dead by the anger and hatred in his eyes and the venom in his voice.

“Because I was nothing more then a tool. A tool to ruin the lives of innocent people simply trying to survive.”

As quickly as the anger came, it had left, leaving him exhausted and bitter, he looked down at the mess he made and went about cleaning it up, the cuts already healed and the spill luckily contained to the counter and not spilling to the wood floor boards. After they settle back in their seats, the two were quiet once again. He could see the look of fear on her face and felt bad.

He wasn’t expecting her to continue but she asked her third question

“What exactly are you? what did the CCG do to you?”

Kaneki couldn’t do more the let out a heavy breath, he felt cold and numb, he was expecting this question from the very beginning but when the words left her mouth, he could feel his entire body shut down. He closed his eyes and remembered that he still Had Hide no matter what. He opened his eyes and tried his hardest to stop his body from shaking, he looked over at her and as calmly as possible, stated.

“I guess they would classify me as an artificial ghoul”

He didn’t even really look at her face, more he was looking pass her unsure if that was of his own doing or just because he felt sick and couldn’t focus. Regardless, he could tell she was shocked and angry. But oddly enough, the one emotion she didn’t show was disgust. He continued;

“I was 10 years old when my mother had passed away and I was taken in by my aunt. The CCG were looking for young test subjects and were offering monetary payments as supplements to families,so my aunt gave me to the CCG.”

Kaneki took another shaky breath knowing full well that he was shivering at this point before he went on

“There goal was to see if they could combine the strength of a ghoul with the loyalty of a human and so when I was given to them, they wasted no time replacing as many of my organs with those of s class ghoul. As I grew older and they were confidant I wasn’t going to die, they started training to be an investigator when I was 12 and by the time I was 14, I was sent out on all manners of missions that included intelligence gathering the ghoul culling, all while keeping me out of the publics eye until they could legally register me as an investigator at 16. The RC cells in my body improved my muscular system and allowed me to regenerate basically any non-life-threatening wound. I was as close as you get to a ghoul without actually being a ghoul or having a Kagune”

Touka couldn’t really believe what she had heard. She’d always made joke about how the doves wished that were as strong as ghouls but to actually be told that they had made someone into a ghoul and when he was a child no less. She was angry, no down right pissed, both at the CCg for doing something so cruel but even more so at the man beside her for following the people who had down that to him.

“Why the hell did you fight for them then”

He stared at her with eyes that were frightening aggressive and equally sad

“I guess I just wanted to be useful so someone.”

His expression softened, letting go of all the hatred and just being consumed by his sadness, It nearly broke her when she realised why he did it, The CCG took advantage of a 10 year old’s desire to be loved and wanted and she couldn’t stop herself from looking away, feeling guilty for even getting as angry as she had at him in the first place, sure he once was a dove and he most likely had killed hundred of ghouls but she knows that she had killed just as many humans when she had felt lost after the death of her father, and even then she still at least had her brother at the time.

Neither of them tried to speak, both knew that doing so wouldn’t lead to anything, Kaneki wasn’t really in the mood to try and continue, even just talking about the events in their most stripped back form made him want to vomit, he was exhausted.

Touka also wasn’t ready to ask him anything else, she was having trouble processing just what the person next her even was, he was stronger then any human she’s ever met, he should be terrifying to her, he was made specifically to kill ghouls, but when she tried to think of him like that, the taste from last night reignited her taste buds and images of his smile and those dull Gray eyes clouded in sadness and sorrow made her heart ache.

This time it was Kaneki who broke the silence when he suddenly said with a collected voice, cold and formulaic.

“You can come in now Yoshimura-san, I’m not planning on talking about myself anymore than what I have.”

Suddenly the bell dinged, and they turned to face the old man as he walked holding his hat

“My you really do have the senses of a ghoul”

Kaneki couldn’t help the small smile at the casualness of his remark

“You didn’t make it too difficult, almost like you wanted me to hear you.”

Yoshimura who gave him a polite smile in response. Then he said something that neither Touka or Kaneki were expecting.

“How would you like to try working here at Anteiku?”


	7. Chapter 7

# Chapter 7

Kaneki wasn’t sure where to start trying to explain to Yoshimura why him working at Anteiku was a very bad idea. He thought that the fact that he used to hunt ghouls for a living and was by definition and literal monster would have been obvious enough to the old man but he just continued to give Kaneki his warm smile while waiting for a response. Kaneki looked back to Touka, hoping to see her jump out of her chair and explode with outrage but just stayed where she was, sitting in silence with a pensive look on her face like she was trying to figure out the logistics. He sighed figuring he was going to have to be the voice of reason here.

“I appreciate the offer Yoshimura-san, but I feel like I would be the last person welcomed in a coffee shop ran by ghouls”

Yoshimura just gave him a quizzical look.

“Oh, and why is that?”

Kaneki was starting to wonder if Yoshimura had really heard their conversation or not, but he figured the most direct response would be the best.

“Because I’m a monster that was made to kill ghouls”

Yoshimura continued to look at him as if he wasn’t making any sense.

“But you helped Touka last night after her fight with Nishio-san did you not?”

Kaneki and Touka shook slightly knowing they had been figured out. How long had this man been listening to their conversation. Before Kaneki could even start thinking of a rebuttal Yoshimura continued.

“Kaneki, Anteiku was made with the purpose of helping ghouls by not only giving them a place to interact with humans and learn to integrate themselves with-in human society, we also provide meat to those who can’t _or_ don’t want to hunt humans. We get all our meat from humans have committed suicide, so we don’t harm any people.”

Kaneki looked around the café with a newfound appreciation, from the first moment he walked in he felt comfortable and now he was wondering if that was the ghoul part of him secretly knowing this and relaxing.

“Anteiku was and always will be a place for ghouls who need help, so I think that you going out of you way to help Touka last night and even give her a piece of yourself to eat proves that you are the exact type of person who should work here.”

Kaneki was caught off guard by his kind words and his even kinder smile. How was supposed to refuse him now when he made him feel so welcomed.

“Do you really think the other staff will be okay working with an ex dove” Kaneki asked apprehensively, he’s grasping at straws trying to dissuade the old gentleman

“Touka do you have any problem with Kaneki working here?”

Kaneki looked back to Touka and saw her sigh.

“I’m going to have to teach him how to make coffee aren’t I” she stated more so then asked and Yoshimura just smiled.

“I’ll be sure to explain your situation to them Kaneki, I guarantee they will welcome you with open arms.”

All kaneki could do let his shoulders droop, he knows this is a very risky idea, he was meant to be laying low, and working at a shop full of ghouls will almost definitely lead to a few encounters with the CCG. Every sensible part of his brain was telling him to just refuse but as he looked at Yoshimura’s kind smile and back at Touka’s annoyed but slightly amused look, he just took a deep breath and felt the smell of coffee enter his lungs and felt all his tension dissipate. He stood tall and bowed.

“I’d very much like to work here”

Kaneki had always thought that nothing could be more tiring then working as a dove. After his fourth day working at Anteiku he now knew just how wrong he was. Learning how to juggle managing orders, greeting customers and making different types of coffee the “correct way” according to Touka was giving his private tutorage from Arima a run for it’s money.

Kaneki had been on edge the following day when he was introduced to the rest of the staff at Anteiku, The two servers he saw on his first trip were Irimi and Koma who gave him a very serious look the moment he stepped through the door, when Irimi had walked right up to kaneki he was expecting to been sent right back out with much more force then when he entered. Instead she just pulled him into a tight embrace while thanking him for helping Touka. Koma just walked up behind and gave him a very forceful pat on the back while giving him a thumbs up and saying something about beauty of youth. The larger man behind them all was a new face, his white hair more grey then Kaneki’s and even with the distance between them, Kaneki could tell he was an experienced fighter, He had just looked coolly at Kaneki before glancing at Touka and smiling very subtly and walked away.

Kaneki was surprised by how welcomed he had felt and he had to wonder what exactly Yoshimura had told them all, he wasn’t exactly worried that he told him his secret, he was more anxious about how much they knew and how much was left out. Regardless, as the days went on and he continued to enter and leave the shop without a knife in his back, Kaneki began to relax and honestly found himself enjoying the work he was doing, it had been a long time since he had some sort of place where he felt like he was useful, even if his coffee was as Touka had said “not fit for animals much less people”.

It was around 30 minutes till closing and Kaneki was left to man the store by himself, Touka was in the back doing stocktake while Yoshimura had wandered upstairs to take care of some documents. Kaneki went about cleaning the tables and when he was wiping down the counter, he heard the Jingle of the door. He looked up and saw a very well dressed man with purple hair walk in, he could already tell this man was a ghoul, the scent of his perfume did very little to mask the smell of human flesh but Kaneki didn’t react, human flesh was a scent he was very used to. The man noticed the new face at the counter and sat down. With a very grandiose smile.

“Oh my, I don’t believe we’ve met before. Are you a new employee here at Anteiku?”

Just from the way he was talking, Kaneki could tell this man was a character.

“Yes sir, my name is Kaneki Ken, I can assume you are a regular here if you could tell I was a new.”

“Ah well I wouldn’t call myself a regular, but I do know the staff very well.” His smile felt conniving.

The man leaned forward and took a very deliberate sniff of Kaneki.

“My you smell delightful Kaneki-kun”

Kaneki could feel the hair on his neck stand, this guy wasn’t normal.

“What can I get you mr-“

“Tsukiyama, Tsukiyama Shuu. And I’ll take an expresso”

Kaneki could only give his usual forced smile; he’d rather not have to deal with this guy if he could help it. He went about making the coffee like Touka had taught him, he didn’t want to mess it up and prolong their interaction any longer then necessary. The entire time Kaneki could feel Tsukiyama’s eyes on him, like he was be eaten within his mind. As he finished the coffee and put in in front of Tsukiyama with a smile and went back to clean the equipment, he heard Touka coming back to the counter.

“What are you doing here?” He could hear the venom in her voice from where he was.

“I was just ordering a coffee Touka chan, now would you be so kind as to fill me on you new employee over there. He smells absolutely delicious, what are your plans for him” Tsukiyama whispered to Touka, Unaware that Kaneki could easily hear what he said due to his improved senses.

Touka wasn’t as subtle “That’s none of your business, so would you kindly finish your drink and leave.”

Tsukiyama just frowned slightly before looking back at Kaneki. He took a long sip from the cup and stood up.

“It was a pleasure Kaneki-kun, and the coffee was delicious, I do hope we can talk more in the future” and with that Tsukiyama left the store and Touka went to flip the sign to closed.

The two went about cleaning the store when Touka spoke up

“You need to stay away from him”

Kaneki looked up at her.

“Care to elaborate, he seemed eccentric, but I’ve met a lot of eccentric ghouls in my life”

“He has a hobby for collecting humans, he auctions them off to other ghouls”

Kaneki thought for a moment, he remembered seeing something like that in the files at the CCG.

“He’s the Gourmet isn’t he”

Touka just nodded back. Realising how Kaneki was able to guess something like that. Obviously still unsure how to interact with a man who’s probably seen her file and the files of the people she’s close too.

They continued to work in silence and the two finished the remaining work quickly. When they were finished Kaneki walked to the door when he heard Touka say from the stair.

“Good work Today, see you tomorrow” she quickly ran up the stairs afterwards.

Kaneki smiled to himself, at least he didn’t already ruin the relationship between the two.

Kaneki spent the walk home reflecting on the numerous events that had taken place during the week, discovering Anteiku, helping Touka, revealing his past for the first time since meeting Hide, to the same person he helped no less and being accepted for what he was and even getting a normal job. Or as normal as working in a café ran by ghouls could be. Kaneki couldn’t help the small smile that spread across his face. If he was the same person he was a few years ago, he’d have chastised himself for being sloppy but now, He wondered if he was actually capable of living a normal life.

But Kaneki was never that lucky because as he walked home lost in thought, and his senses dulled by a lack of food and RC cells, he wasn’t able to hear the man walking up behind him or resist the drug that was forcibly injected into his neck turning the whole world black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will have some more action and I'm excited to write it. I hope you enjoy this chapter though for the meantime.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really happy with how this chapter turned out. I might not post tomorrow depending on how tired I am from work and I probably should have just saved this chapter for tomorrow but I wanted to get it out as soon as i have edited it. I hope you enjoy.

# Chapter 8

Kaneki was once again standing in that room, everything felt hazy but the cool tiles on his feet and smell of blood made It very clear where he was, he tried to retrace his steps to what brought him here but when he tried to remember the whole room listed and it took all his effort to stay upright. He wasn’t sure why he was there, and then he heard the clamping of metal and suddenly he was awake.

Kaneki shot out of the bed and to his feet, suddenly a wave a nausea rolled over him and his knees gave out. The effects of the drug still in his system. He just sat on his knees for a moment as he waited for his stomach to settle. He slowly rose and after making sure he was stable, looked around the room. There were no windows which meant he was most likely underground, the only thing that occupied the room was the large bed he was woke up in and a small table on the other side of the room, he could see that there was a note so he walked slowly around the bed using it as leverage.

He managed to get to the other side and already he could feel sweat beading on his forehead, he chastised himself for letting his hunger get this bad, the only thing that kept him alive were the RC cells in his body and he could tell he was dangerously low.

He picked up the note which read.

‘My dear Kaneki, I do apologise for taking you so forcibly, but your scent was simply too intoxicating. I have prepared a new set of clothes for you that I want you to wear after you finish taking a shower. Once you have changed, please head to the door and knock, you will then be taken for the main event. Good luck.  
Tsukiyama Shuu’

He should have taken Touka’s advice more seriously, Kaneki looked around the room one last time, paying more attention to see if there were any other exits, Kaneki sighed, he didn’t like listening to the demands of captors but if he tries to play the waiting game, he’s sure he’d starve to death. Begrudgingly, he made his way towards the door that had a bathroom sign on it hoping that the shower would help clear his foggy head and give him some time to try and pass the drugs out of his system.

After a long shower that did nothing for his throbbing head ache and cloudy mind, he changed into his new clothes, it was a waiter uniform not un-similar to Anteiku’s, instead of brown though it was black and none of the pockets were actual pockets, it felt more like a costume than an actual uniform.

He walked to the door, the shower did at least relieve the tension in his muscles and knocked on the door. After a moment it opened to a well-dressed man wearing a butler uniform. He stood slightly taller than Kaneki and despite his obvious elderly age, gave off an intimidating aura, almost daring Kaneki to try and make an escape attempt. Kaneki just sighed and followed the direction his hand was guiding him remembering the words he was told during his time at the CCG

“Only an idiot walks into a fight he can’t win”

Kaneki walked down the hallway, he noticed doors on both sides that most likely led to rooms that were identical to the one he woke up in. His body feeling sluggish from the drug, he could only keep walking forward while the butler followed close behind him, eventually they reached an intersection the led in four directions, he was told to go left and didn’t try to argue.

After another long walk he was standing in front of a set of two doors, fancier then the ones that adorned the sides of the hallway. He felt the butler walk beside him and open the door and ushered him forward. Kaneki could feel his stomach churn, maybe from hunger but more likely because he felt like a lamb walking towards a slaughter house, the smell of blood creeped its way down the steps on the other side of the door, if the butler was getting impatient, he wasn’t expressing it but Kaneki knew better then to push it. He took a breath and started forward; the butler didn’t follow him up the stairs.

As he made his way up the stairs, he could hear the murmurings of a crowd of people, they started off distant and quiet but soon became unbearably loud as Kaneki reached the top of the stairs. He could feel hundreds and hundred of eyes on him, all inspecting him like he was a piece of meat, and considering the entire crowd was made mostly of Ghouls, he probably was just a piece of meat to them. He made his way forward scanning the crowd looking for any familiar face. A mix of panic and relief came when he couldn’t see anyone from Anteiku, At least he hadn’t been sold out by his new co-workers.

He looked further to the top of the arena and saw a masked man with purple hair and a white suit, He guessed it was Tsukiyama. Despite him wearing a mask, Kaneki could tell that their eyes met and he could feel the grin on his face from where he was standing even if he couldn’t really see it. Tsukiyama then stood and approached a Microphone.

“Thank you all for gathering today, Now for the main event can begin, I have for you here today a particularly delicious smelling Human that I discovered earlier today.”

The crowd let out a collective murmur, obviously enthralled by the human hand picked by the infamous gourmet.

“Now we will see if he’s worthy to become our meal. I do hope you don’t have to suffer the loss of another child Big Madam.”

Kaneki could hear a boisterous laughter from the crowd.

“No way my darling would lose to a pipsqueak like him.”

Tsukiyama just smiled to Kaneki.

“Good luck mon amie”

Kaneki realised too late that he should have been paying attention to where exactly he was because he only had a fraction of a moment to block the incoming slab of steel that that smashed into his side. He could feel the bone in his arm shatter as he was sent flying across the room. Of course, this was an arena, so it figures there would be an opponent. Kaneki managed to get to his feet and clutched his shattered left arm, he could feel it very slowly setting itself, but it wasn’t healing, any more hits like that and he was dead. Kaneki quickly looked at the person who sent him flying, it was horrifying sight, he towered over Kaneki, probably 3 times his height and was hideously muscular. He wore a red sack over his head and Kaneki wasn’t even sure if the man was a ghoul, he’d faced off against plenty of disgusting ghouls but they all at least resembled a human somewhat.

The big man slowly lumbered towards Kaneki before quickly speeding up, Kaneki stunned by the speed the big man was capable of running at and only barely managed to roll out of the way before he crashed against the wall behind him. Rolling was the wrong move, all the work his body had done fixing his arm was undone and now it was completely useless. Once again, his attention was focused on the wrong thing because he was oblivious to the shadow looming over him, he wasn’t able to avoid the massive hand that clamped down around him.

He was brought to face the man and felt his grip tighten, he was sure for a second that he was going to die right then and there before being thrown to the other side of the arena and crashing into the concrete. He wasn’t sure if the man was just toying with him or was just and idiot, probably both. Kaneki could tell his ribs were cracked from the impact and there was now a gash on his head from where it smacked against the wall. Blood trailed down his head into his eyes. His vision was starting to go dark and he could feel his breath hitch. He wondered if this was fate, maybe this is where he was meant to die. Surrounded by ghouls cheering for his pain. It seemed fitting enough. They deserved their revenge; Kaneki could feel his consciousness slipping.

…

Clang

Clang

Clang

“What’s 1000 minus seven”

“You know what you need to do, the Strong consume the weak”

…

“So, eat, forsake your humanity and eat to your hearts content, Only the strong get to live”

Kaneki’s eyes shot open as the man in front of him brought down his giant saw on top of his head. As if on instinct, he rolled out of the way, ignoring the way his arm flapped around him, He could no longer feel the pain and the throbbing headache was gone. The only thought in head was voice demanding that he eat. He dashed back towards the spot where the ghouls cleaver was lodged and raked his fingers across the ghouls arm, using the leverage to flip his body onto it. He dashed up towards the body before the ghoul had time to react and lodged his teeth into his throat. He used his one good arm and feet to push against the ghoul while ripping out a large chunk of his throat.

He landed back on the ground and quickly devoured it; a deafening silence gathered over the crowd as Kaneki finished his meal. The only sounds came from the Ghoul crying for his mama and Kaneki’s small chuckle. As he lifted his head the entire stadium gasped at the sight, Kaneki’s left eye formed a Kakugan. Something that was given to him the day he was made into what he was as a side effect. He used to have full control of it but after a lack of use, it became something that only showed itself when he ate human or ghoul flesh.

As he swallowed the meat Kaneki could feel his RC cells spike, him arm was quickly healing, and his ribs were back to normal. He could feel his strength returning but it wasn’t enough. He needed more strength. He wanted to eat more. The big ghoul finished crying and brought his meat cleaver to Kaneki’s side. He quickly ducked under and grabbed the weapon from the other side. The big ghoul unsure what to do tried to bring the weapon back to himself but Kaneki didn’t budge, he tried again but Kaneki stood completely still, on his final attempt he pulled with all his strength, only to feel no resistance. The handle being slick with his blood flew out of his hand. The ghoul stared upwards befuddled and once again kaneki flew forward grabbing onto the big man’s stomach and pulled himself up.

Kaneki dug his fingers into the open wound on his neck and grabbed a handful of flesh before viciously ripping it out. He kicked back against the ghoul’s chest and sent him stumbling. He brought the flesh to his mouth and ate it. It tasted awful but he didn’t care, Food was food and he was starving. Once again, he felt the RC cells starting to mend his body. His left arm was usable again and his muscles tightened with a newfound vigour.

The blade landed directly in front of Kaneki, he walked up to it and grabbed it with both hands, the blade was sloppily made and obviously hadn’t been maintained at all, but it’d work. He slung it against his shoulder and walked forward towards the bumbling mess of a person. He was grabbing his neck and crying for his mama once again. He saw Kaneki coming towards him and held out his hand. He might have been begging but Kaneki had fully tuned out his surroundings. The only thing he could hear was the beating of his own heart and the voice demanding he eat more.

He brought the blade down on the ghoul’s hand, not so much cutting but tearing it off. He continued forward as the man managed to waddle to his feet and started backing away from him. Kaneki could only smile at the Ghoul.

“You were trying to eat me, so it only seems fair that I’d get to eat you” He brought the blade high above his head before stopping. The Ghoul in front of him stopped moving and two hands were sprouting from his chest. Suddenly the arena was raining blood and in front of him stood Tsukiyama, his white suit stained red.

“I’m terribly sorry everyone but the shows cancelled for tonight, I was unaware that our guest was a half ghoul” He saw Tsukiyama lick his lips and before he could think he dropped the blade and rushed him. Unsure if he wanted to kill him or eat him.

Before he could even register anything, he felt something come out the back of his chest. He looked down and saw a Kagune piercing him. He looked up and glared at Tsukiyama, the voice in his head barely audible telling him to keep going, to eat them all. He tried to take a step forward and then an Image of Touka flashed in his mind.

Her kind smile being the last thing he saw, and he felt his body go limp and his world go dark.


	9. Chapter 9

# Chapter 9

Touka grumbled to herself as she walked down the stairs to Anteiku, she lamented the fact that she was up at 4 in the morning and was fresh out of coffee in her apartment. She hadn’t been able to get any sleep because a certain white-haired idiot was plaguing her dreams. She couldn’t help being worried about the moron, she knew he could take care of himself in a fight but he’s been acting off for the last couple days, he wasn’t responding right away when she asked him to do something and he was looking more and more pale with every passing day. And then there was the whole meeting with Tsukiyama, the last person she’d ever want to meet an anomaly like Kaneki.

As she reached the bottom of the stairs and walked towards where they kept the extra coffee beans, she looked out the window and thought she saw a car speed off. If it were any other night she would have just walked back upstairs and started making her coffee but what could she say? She was paranoid. She walked to the door and paled when she spotted a mop of white hair. Panicked, she quickly undid the lock and opened the door and checked her unconscious co-worker, even though it was dark out, the only illumination brought by the closest street light, she could see the blood that had seeped into the bandages that were shoddily wrapped around his chest. It took all her willpower not to indulge herself in the scent as she dragged the lifeless body into the shop.

After she had flicked the lights on, she could see just what a mess he was, his breathing was sporadic at best, his heart beat felt much to slow and as she unwrapped the bandages around his chest, she spotted the markings of a hole, it looked like it had only just started being covered by his skin but the internal part of him was still hollow. What the hell happened to him, she was confused by the fact that he was wearing a uniform that wasn’t from Anteiku, where had this idiot been since he left work earlier. She pulled out her phone and dialled a number.

“Yoshimura-san I need your help.”

-

The older ghoul entered through the front door with Yomo following close behind. Touka wondered how they’d gotten here in only ten minutes, but she wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Despite how thin he looked; Kaneki was much heavier than she had anticipated.

‘All that god damn muscles starts adding up huh’ she had thought to herself when she had stopped making any progress ay all.

“What happened” Yoshimura asked as calmly as he could.

“I just found him passed out in front of the shop.”

Yoshimura looked deep in thought, he didn’t even bat an eye when Yomo had lifted Kaneki over one of his shoulders and started making his way up the stairs. When they reached the top, Touka made her way in front and headed to the spare room across from hers. She opened the door for Yomo and watched as he placed Kaneki onto the bed. Far from what most would consider gently. Yoshimura followed closely behind them and was examining his wounds. He put his hand to Kaneki’s neck and a look of panic washed over him.

“Touka get some meat from downstairs quickly.”

Touka wasn’t sure how to react.

“Your going to feed him human flesh? Isn’t that kinda messed up.”

Yoshimura didn’t even humour her

“If you don’t get that meat, he will die.”

As soon as the words left his lips, Touka was sprinting down the steps three at a time before leaping to the bottom bypassing the rest. She ran to the freezer where they kept their supply and got 3 pieces of wrapped meat. She made her way back up and was next to Kaneki once again. She was shocked to see how much worse he looked compared to ten minutes ago, his hair was flat from sweat and he was as pale as a corpse, his body was shivering and when she felt his hand, he was ice cold.

“Touka hold his mouth open.”

Touka didn’t argue, she opened his mouth as far as it was willing, she flinched when Yomo shoved the meat forcibly into the boy’s mouth. She could feel herself gag when he stuck his finger into his mouth forcing the meat down his throat until his body naturally swallowed it. They were silent, waiting for any kind of reaction, good or bad. After a minute Touka was about to panic, what if they had just forced a human to cannibalise for nothing. Would he hate her? Would he even live long enough to hate her? These thoughts were about to continue before they saw him take a very deep breath before exhaling. He colour started to improve and his body no longer shivered. They all let out a collective sigh.

After 10 more minutes of observation Yoshimura and Yomo stood up

“At least it doesn’t seem like his life is in danger right now, Yomo and I will head home. I’ll trust you to watch him Touka. Good night.”

Touka just nodded in confirmation. “Good night Yoshimura-san, Good night Yomo-san”

Yoshimura smiled and Yomo just grunted as they left the room, closing the door behind them and leaving the two by themselves.

-

Touka wasn’t sure what to do with herself, the rational part of her mind told her he’d be fine, that she should go back to her room and get some rest. But as she looked over his still body and face that, the more emotional part of her brain told her that staying was the best choice, and she was too tired to argue with her emotions. She grabbed a chair and sat it down next the bed. She took her time examining his body because unlike the times during there shifts when she found her gaze settling on his back, she didn’t have to feel embarrassed about getting caught. She was honestly surprised by the amount of scars he had, she had just assumed that all his injuries would heal and leave his skin spotless but that didn’t seem to be the case for all of them. Scars were splayed across his entire body, some small, some uncomfortably large, too large to be done by human weapons, they were the work of Kagunes, that much was obvious.

She stared at his arms and felt annoyed by her past self when she had referred to the guy as a twig. His arms, while not large, were obviously muscular. They were toned and well defined and were evidence of a vigorous amount of training and experience.

She wondered what it would feel like if he held her in those arms. Would she be able to escape? She felt herself scoot away just an inch and immediately felt awful. She just treated him like he was someone dangerous, something to be feared, the exact thing that the CCG wanted her to feel.

She looked at his face and wondered if he was dreaming, he didn’t have any sort of expression. It was just relaxed, no sadness of happiness and she wondered if that was a good thing. Whenever he talked to her or anyone else, he always wore a small smile and responded with a very forced laugh, it all felt formulaic and cold. Whenever he was alone, he tried to keep his face even but his eyes always seemed cloudy, like he was never really fully there, trapped somewhere within his own mind. She had considered talking to him and finding out what was wrong but realised that would involve admitting that she had taken some small interest in the guy and let embarrassment talk her out of it.

Touka had been so wrapped up in her own thoughts about the boy that she almost hadn’t noticed his breathing getting heavier, like something was weighing down on his chest. She almost leaped out of her chair to go call Yoshimura when she heard something crack, she looked down to his hand and saw his thumb pressing hard against his middle finger. She just stared as she saw him crack his knuckle and watched in horror as he kept going, until the chilling sound of bone snapping played across the room, that wasn’t his knuckle, the idiot just broke his finger, he continued like nothing had happened and moved him thumb to his ring finger. Touka wasn’t sure what she could do so she did the only thing that had always calmed down Ayato when he was having a bad dream and held kaneki hand within her own and started stroking it with her fingers.

She looked up to Kaneki’s chest and saw it slowly even out to a regular pace. Touka let go of the breath he was holding in and looked back to her hand noticing how he had somehow intwined their fingers together. She felt her blush rise slightly but didn’t try to undo their hands. She wouldn’t admit it out loud, but she liked the way his hands felt, softer than she expected but still processing a roughness they could only get from hundreds of fights. His hands brought her a sense of security.

Touka felt her eye lids get heavy and decided to rest her head, she laid down and found a nice comfy spot on his legs, the bed was too small anyway for both of them.

She knew fully well that this was a lie and smiled to herself before sleep finally overtook her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how I feel about this chapter, I wrote it feeling kinda tired from work but I wanted a bit more of there feeliiings to start popping up. I hope I can make it seem like there relationship is developing at a reasonable pace without feeling forced. Either way I hope you enjoyed the chapter.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting reguarly recently, I've been busy with work and trying to figure out where I want this story to go. So I just got this shorter chapter done and I'll probably be posting less frequently to avoid getting burned out. I hope you enjoy it none the less. The fact that more then 200 people have read this is kinda insane to me so I hope you've all been liking my first story. Thanks everyone.

# Chapter 10

Kaneki found himself sitting on a chair, it was a chair he never particularly enjoyed sitting in, it was cold, rigid and downright suffocating. But it was a chair he knew he had to sit in, like a king who sits in his throne, this chair was where he belonged because it was where everything began, where he had learned the cruel reality of his world that only the strong get to live how they wish and weak exist simply to be controlled by said strong. This chair was his prison, his greatest fear and the only place he truly felt comfortable.

It was his home.

Kaneki lifted his gaze to see where he was, he was sitting in field filled with what one would claim are beautiful white flowers. But the area felt disturbing to Kaneki, it was desolate and lonely, almost sanitary and he was the one thing that was corrupting the place.

“I didn’t think I’d see you again in this place”

The voice was distant yet close at the same time, it echoed within his ear like it had no true source. He recognized the voice in the same way he recognized the place, although he would never really be able to remember it when he was awake, it was impossible to truly forget. That alone brought a sad smile to his lips, he knew he could never run away from this part of him.

“I can’t say I planned on ever coming back” He replied to no where in particular, he knew she would hear him regardless of how loud he spoke or in what direction he spoke to.

“I’m honestly surprised it took you so long to visit again, you never were the most stable person even before everything went down” The voice had her signature tone of mocking behind it. It made it difficult to tell if she was being serious or not.

“I have friends who help keep me in line”

“Hmmm, so that’s what you’re calling them now” Her voice shifted, and he could tell she had decided to take form. He looked to his left and saw a girl his age wearing a flawless white dress, casually playing with her purple hair.

Rize

“If I remember correctly, you told me that you didn’t have any friends. Just people who used you. What changed?” even when asking him such a personal question, she didn’t spare him a glance.

Kaneki decided to return the favour and stopped looking at her, instead focusing on his feet which were raw and bloody.

“ That was in the past, I was brash and angry, but I’ve found people I can trust” he could feel his smile get warmer, but that warmth got quickly sucked away by her hand when it rested on his cheek.

He shivered and slowly looked up at her with fear in his eyes. She was standing right in front him with that cold smile and terrifying gaze that looked into his very soul.

“You can lie to your friends. You can lie to yourself. But you could never lie to me. You don’t trust them; you’re terrified about them knowing who you truly are.”

Kaneki tried to move his hand, but they were now chained around the back of the chair. He tried to stand but his legs were cuffed to the chair. Panic started to creep in as he could only look at her and see her smile become more and more cruel.

“Because you know that when they find out, they’ll be terrified. You know that they’ll never feel safe around you. You know that you will never be able to sleep with fear of being stabbed in the back.”

Kaneki started to thrash in the chair, the legs creaking and groaning against his force.

“SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! YOU DON’T KNOW ME” He screamed, he wasn’t sure if it was to her or to himself.

She just looked at him with pity and spite on her face.

“Oh, please Kaneki, I am you. I’m the one who knows you better then you know yourself”

As her words reached his ears he could feel himself get paler, the cool earth beneath his feet was now replaced by the chill of tiles and the almost calming scent of flowers and grass was replaced by the suffocating smell of iron and viscera. He managed to open his eyes and instead of Rize, he only saw the looming body of a man in a white suit and a Hockey mask.

All his panic before was replaced with dread and he could no longer muster up any strength to struggle against his bonds.

“What is 1000 minus 7 Kaneki?”

Kaneki couldn’t speak, he knew what answering the question would lead too. He wasn’t ready to feel this again. Why couldn’t he wake up. 

He felt the cold steel of the pliers against his index finger and he knew he was going to wake up any moment now. You can’t feel pain within a dream.

CRUNCH

Bullshit.

The only sound that filled the room was Kaneki’s screams. The cries of pain and the sobbing only got louder as he lost his middle finger and then his ring finger. He was just desperately trying to block out the sound he heard years ago.

CRUNCH

CRUNCH

CRUNCH

And then it was quiet. He was no longer sitting in the chair. He was no longer in the room, or the field of flowers. No Rize telling him what he already knew and no Yamori to remind him of the monster he really was. He looked at his hand and it was normal, No marks or scars. All his fingers still there and they all worked normally, and he felt disgusted with himself because of it. He rubbed his thumb against his index finger and cracked it, but he didn’t stop, he needed the finger off, so he kept pressing until he felt his joint snap. He still continued and he could hear the bone crack and as it was just about to break, he stopped. Not of his own volition but because he felt a warmth surround his hand. Confused he looked up and saw a girl with a glowing wing that blazed so brightly it was difficult to look at. He could feel the wing surround him and the icy spot that Rize had touched earlier finally felt warm again.

Kaneki awoke without the desire to run for the first time a long time. He only felt exhaustion and a reluctance to move. As he managed lean forward and sit up on the bed, he looked around the room, he didn’t recognise it but oddly enough didn’t feel any concern because the warmth in his right hand kept him calm. He looked over to the saw girl from his dream, only instead of a blazing wing, she just lied there with her violet hair covering her face and drool slowly pooling on his thigh. He noticed that their hands were entwined but he made no effort to let go.

He wasn’t ready to let go of this warmth. Not yet at least.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I always say, any feedback is welcome. I'm hoping to start really developing the relationship between Kaneki and Touka soon. Enjoy

# Chapter 11

Kaneki wasn’t sure how long he spent just sitting on the bed studying the Violet haired beauty that lied on his lap. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t found his gaze settling on her more times then nought during their shifts together.

He wasn’t a stranger to beautiful women; he’s went undercover multiple times and had to get information with some unsavoury methods but Touka was a different type of beauty. She held herself with a confidence that he found refreshing, she was content with herself and her life and it showed in the way she moved and interacted with people around her. She exuded an aura that was dangerously addictive to Kaneki, he wanted to just be around her and let his worries wash away.

After a few minutes and when he was sure she wasn’t going to wake up, he decided he needed to go home. He was sure that Hide was freaking out, probably looking in some back alleys in search of his dead body, and too his credit after last night he would be forgiven for assuming the worst.

Kaneki managed to free his body and carried Touka into the bed he was laying on, luckily there was a spare blanket in the closet because the one he had lied upon was covered in his now dried blood. After tucking in the sleeping girl, he made his way out of the room and into the hallway only to bump into Yomo.

The two stood in silence, Kaneki wasn’t sure how to deal with the older ghoul, it was clear that Yomo while not harbouring any ill will towards him didn’t particularly care for him either and there lack of interactions made it impossible for Kaneki to try and get to know the guy. Kaneki was about five seconds away from just walking around the towering presence before he had a set of clothes shoved in front of him. It was only then that he had realised the awful state his outfit was in, torn and ripped in several places and well as covered in dry blood. Accentuated by the monstrous hole in the chest.

“Put those on and come downstairs quickly, I want to talk”

Kaneki had wondered if those were the first words that he heard from the guy before hurriedly stripping his own clothes and putting on the fresh ones. He followed quickly behind Yomo as he made his way down the stairs to the café. When they reached the bottom, the grey haired ghoul turned and pointed to the coffee machine.

“Make us a couple of cups” he spoke in a deadpan

Had he not been asked by the one person at Anteiku he had no sort of relationship with, Kaneki would have made a comment about manners but instead he just went about making the coffee for the two. Grateful for the advice Touka had given him because he was sure Yomo would not have enjoyed having a subpar cup of Joe to start of this sure to be awkward morning.

Once again, the two just sat at the counter in almost complete silence, Kaneki was beginning to think that Yomo was mute until he finally asked his question.

“So, what happened last night, all I know is Touka called Yoshimura after finding you unconscious out front with a hole in your chest”

Guess that explains how Touka managed to drag him upstairs and into bed. Kaneki gave Yomo a side glance debating whether he should lei to him or not, one look at his face and he knew that he would be able to tell so he just gave a sigh of defeat before he explained.

“Tsukiyama took some interest in me during my shift yesterday and on my way home, they injected me with something, and I was out cold. Next thing I know I’m waking up in a room underground and then I’m forced to fight another ghoul in a death match. Everything else is kind of a blur”

That wasn’t exactly a lie, he was foggy on the more minute detail, but he just didn’t want to explain how he managed to get out of the situation or why Tsukiyama decided to let him go. Maybe if Touka asked him or Yoshimura but he wasn’t sure how much he could trust Yomo or the other staff members. Kaneki had learned very quickly in his career that while the younger ghouls were more vocal about there hatred of Doves, it was the older, more experienced ghouls that truly despised his existence and Yomo gave off the vibe a ghoul who’s been through a lot.

Yomo’s face looked like he wasn’t entirely satisfied with his answer but decided not to push any further which was fine by him. Yomo had finished his coffee he made his way to the door but stopped before opening it, standing there for a moment before saying “Hey Ken, I know it’s not my place to ask you this but… Touka doesn’t have many friends her age, so make sure you don’t go end up dying on us.”

And with that he left the shop and Kaneki with his thoughts. Rize’s words played in his mind and left his body feeling heavy. He stood up and looked to the stairs considering for a moment just going back upstairs and sleeping for the rest of the day. He shook the thought out of his head and left the store shortly after.

The walk home took longer then usual, on account of Kaneki taking a different path then usual just to avoid any other ambushes. After about an hour he finally reached his apartment. He didn’t get two seconds to rest after opening the door before being tackled quite aggressively by his friend. He had to fight his natural instinct to retaliate but he managed after hearing the Melo-dramatic sobs coming from his attacker.

“All right Hide calm down, I’m not dead but my chest is a bit sore and having you headbutt it doesn’t make it feel any better.”

Hide pulled himself off quicker than Kaneki was anticipating with his stupid trademark grin.

“Good to see your snark wasn’t killed either.”

The two just laughed as Hide got to his feet and held his hand out to Kaneki. After the two went inside, Kaneki told him what he told Yomo earlier, Hide knew his secret but that didn’t mean he felt comfortable going into detail about how he managed to get away. He knew he should warn Hide about the danger he might be in but the last thing he wanted to do was drag Hide into his own problems.

Hide was the first to leave the apartment when he had left to go to university, when Kaneki was alone he let out a ragged breath and made his way to his room, he headed towards the fridge in the corner and pulled out a brown bag filled with human flesh, he talked to Yoshimura about getting whatever the Café could spare. After consuming the meat and feeling his strength return, he grabbed his duffel bag and wig and left the apartment. He made his way towards a local park that he knew would be somewhat empty, he needed to have a chat with a certain French man and the less people around to witness their interaction the better.

It was about 2 hours after he sat himself at a table at the edge of the park when he felt a familiar presence sit across from him, he didn’t even spare the man a glance as he grabbed his bookmark and put the book down on the table.

“Oh you’re a fan of Takatsuki Sen’s novels. I adore her work; I would so love to talk about what you think over a cup of coffee”

Kaneki responded by removing his wig, hiding his identity seemed pointless in this situation. He looked at the man with no malice or anger, just a deadpan stare that he was quite used to giving people he didn’t like or trust.

“Oh, come now Kaneki. I don’t mean you any harm, I came to apologise for last night”

“What for, the kidnapping, the impromptu deathmatch or for impaling me through the chest” he replied with a bit more spite then he had intended, he has lost his touch with controlling his emotions it seemed.

Tsukiyama didn’t seem to notice or maybe he just didn’t care. “All of the above, but in my defence, no one had mentioned you were a half ghoul”

Kaneki felt annoyed, knowing that the only reason he hadn’t been jumped by hundreds of hungry pompous ghouls was because of what the CCG had made him into. Then again, the only reason he was attacked in the first place was because of what the CCG had made him into, but this only annoyed him further.

Kaneki just sighed. “Look Tsukiyama-

“Please call me Shuu”

Kaneki let out another sigh “Look Tsukiyama. I don’t have harbour any ill will towards you, but I also don’t plan on letting you eat me any time soon, so I’d appreciate it if we didn’t have to do this.”

Tsukiyama’s smile didn’t falter for even a moment, if anything it became much more natural, and equally more vile.

“Well I’m sure I could start taking an interest in that pretty little bunny at Anteiku, Touka chan has always caught my eye and I’d love to finally taste a ghou-“

Before either of the two could process what had happened, A blade was pressed very dangerously close to Tsukiyama’s throat. So close that if he had swallowed at that moment then his through would be cut open but still that smile stuck to his face, but Kaneki didn’t give him a chance to continue.

“I’m going to tell you this for your sake, I don’t care what happens to me, stab me, drug me, violate me. Do whatever you want but if I so much as see you look at the people I care about the wrong way. It’ll take much more then a hole in my chest to save you from the hell I’ll put you through. Goodbye Tsukiyama”

And as quickly as had appeared, the knife disappeared leaving a thin line of blood dripping from his neck and Kaneki left.

Tsukiyama just sat there as he felt his heartbeat continue to race as the image of Kaneki’s snarl and murderous glare burned into his mind. Tsukiyama was sure at that moment that Kaneki would become his most delectable meal yet.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay everyone. I kinda didn't have any motivation to write these last couple of days. But I will say this was my favorite chapter to write and I'm super happy with how their relationship is forming.

# Chapter 12

Kaneki ran, he didn’t have a destination in mind or an objective, he wasn’t sure if he even had a reason to run but he still ran. He just kept running until his lungs burned with every breath and his muscles simply couldn’t keep up anymore.

He wasn’t sure where he was other then a back alley away from people. He fell to his knees and tried to process all that had happened.

He fucked up.

That’s what had happened, he had just given that creep the go ahead to keep stalking him, and if that wasn’t bad enough. He had just painted the biggest target imaginable on Touka’s back. In a blind fury Kaneki lifted himself to his feet and punched the wall with all his force, the bones in his hand shattering on contact and the vibration reverberating up his entire arm. In about 10 seconds he felt he hand heal and threw another punch, and then another and another until his knuckles began to show through his skin and the wall was cracked and painted red with his blood. Another moment and his hand was healed again.

Kaneki knew this was futile, his hand would keep healing and the wall wouldn’t submit to him, but it was the only thing he felt capable of doing. The only way he knew how to punish himself for screwing up this badly.

Kaneki let his back slide against the wall, all the anger he had for the ghoul was now gone and now he just felt empty. A feeling not unfamiliar to his past self but to his current self, it was an unwelcome experience. For the second time that day, Rize’s words filled his head, maybe she was right, maybe he didn’t really know himself. What was it he was even fighting for any more. Could he really say he found his place at Anteiku when he only really felt accepted by two of the people that work there. Would he have reacted that way if Tsukiyama had mentioned Yomo or Irimi. Why was he so attached to Touka?

As if she heard him, Kaneki’s phone rang, he looked at it and felt his face pale when he saw her name, they had exchanged numbers when he started working there, something about contacting him when he was needed for shifts. He let the phone ring as he debated if he should answer, he realised that it’d be more suspicious if he didn’t, so he tried to steady his breathing and calm his beating heart as he answered the phone.

“Hell-o” so much for calming himself

“Took you long enough!” Kaneki had to move the phone away from his ear in fear of going deaf.

“Sorry Touka chan, what’s going on, you usually text when I’m needed for a shift”

Touka remained oddly quiet

“I was… Just checking to make sure you’re okay, you were gone when I woke up.” Kaneki felt a small smile on his face but looked at the bloody dent on the wall above him and it was quickly gone. He was far from alright.

“Yeah, I’m okay Touka-chan, Thanks for taking care of me last night”

“Well I wasn’t going to leave you outside with a hole in your chest, it’s be bad for business” Kaneki laughed lightly at the though of the few customers that come to Anteiku seeing his lifeless corpse out front.

“Hey Kaneki, there’s another thing I wanted to ask” Her voice was quiet, and Kaneki wondered what could have made her so suddenly timid.

“What’s up” he said trying to sound as casual as possible.

The phone was quiet.

“You’re a nerd for books or whatever right?”

“Well I wouldn’t use those words in particular but yes, I do like books”

“Yeah well I kind of have to write a book report and I need some help, would you mind coming over, you’re the only person I know who reads Takatsuki Sen’s books and she’s the one I have to write the report about.

Another smile formed on Kaneki’s face as he realised that Touka was embarrassed by the fact that she needed help. This time even the sight of his tantrum couldn’t get rid of it and he could only chuckle slightly in response

“Hey! I hear you laughing at me, if your not going to help then I’m-“

“I’m on my way now, I’d love to help you out Touka chan”

He could hear a small puff come from the other end of the line and the thought of her pouting filled his empty feeling as he made his way towards Anteiku.

-

It took longer then usual to reach Anteiku, equal parts due to him having to figure out where he was and his muscles refusing to move any faster than at a brisk walk. So, when he reached the café and offered his greeting to Koma before heading upstairs to be welcomed by a very obviously annoyed Touka.

“What took you so long”

Kaneki rubbed his chin “I decided to take the scenic route.”

Touka didn’t seem to enjoy the joke and just sighed.

“We live in Tokyo, there is no scenic route. Whatever, I’m only glad you’re here to help me with this stupid report”

Kaneki was happy that the subject managed to change without him having to do anything.

“So, what’s the report about”

Touka’s shoulders visibly drooped as she realised that they were actually going to start working on it right away.

“Well the question is ‘What is the common theme between the two assigned books’, but I have no clue what that means”

Kaneki just stared at her dumbfounded, unsure of where to begin, He guessed the most important question was “Have you read the books”

He almost immediately regretted the question because the glare she gave him could have frozen hell over.

“Of course, I read the books, but the only connection between the two that I noticed was the main character died in both of the stories. Is death even a theme?”

It was then that Kaneki realised what her issue was with the question, Touka must have only a rudimentary understanding of themes.

“Themes and Genres are different things, so yes death can be a theme, but what I think the report is referring to is the theme of Tragedy, it’s the common theme that most of her books are written about”

This time it was Touka’s turn to look dumbfounded. The surprise on her face obvious.

“But I’d recommend you re-read the books if you have the chance because they aren’t tragedies purely because they both involve death, you need to examine a characters emotions and struggles and how it shaped the stories. One of them ends with the character being given freedom through death while the other achieves redemption through it. The tragedy lies in the fact that the characters true wishes can only be achieved when they are no longer able to actually experience them.”

Touka stared at him without saying a word. He was expecting her to make some off-shoot comment about him being a nerd or get frustrated that she hadn’t understood the question at all. What he hadn’t expected was for her to stand up and walk in front of him, he was sitting on the side of her bed, so he had to look up at her. He was frozen in place when she started rubbing his head, the action should have been patronizing but the way she did it started to lull him into a dull stupor, He barely managed to ask her “What are you doing?”

She replied calmly and softly “I don’t know, it’s just your gaze seemed so distant and sad when you were talking about their stories”

All of a sudden, the events of last night and the day caught up with Kaneki and he felt it hit him like a bag of bricks, before he could let his embarrassment get the better of him, he wrapped his arms around Touka’s waist and buried his face into her stomach. She shuddered slightly at his touch but soon relaxed when she noticed he wasn’t trying anything funny. She noticed his slight shaking and just continued to rub his head, noting to herself how soft his hair felt.

“You’ve been through a lot haven’t you Kaneki”

The question was most likely directed to the events that happened last night, he realised that she didn’t actually know what happened to him. But to Kaneki, her words felt like they were tearing open his soul, the events of his past that all led to this moment flooded his mind and it only intensified his shaking and tightened his grip around her waist. Her warmth being the only thing that seemed to tether him to world. Her touch being the only thing that kept Rize and Yamori away.

It took some time for his shaking to subside as he let the comforting warmth finally calm his racing mind. He managed to let go of her waist and already started to miss the feeling of being close to her. He could barely manage a timed “Sorry” as the embarrassment caught up with him.

She just gave him a warm smile and went back to her desk to continue her work, he took the time to examine her room, it was simple but also very Touka like, the wall being adorned with punk rock posters while the shelves were filled with small rabbit paraphernalia. He looked back at the girl as she started to really focus on her work and now, he was starting to feel a bit awkward, he decided to move around her room to see if he could spy anything else unique. He was sure she was going to chastise him for exploring but she was too focused to notice her surroundings. He saw that her cup was empty and decided to head to the kitchen to get them some new coffee.

The sound of the cup touching the table seemed to shake her out of her thoughts and she stared at it inquisitively and then stared at Kaneki.

“I noticed you were out, and as a thank you”

“For what?”

“For helping me out last night.”

She smiled at him and took a sip of the coffee. She looked surprised but her smile never left her face.

“You’ve gotten a lot better, it actually drinkable” she teased, her smile filled his stomach with butterflies. A sudden pang of guilt came about when he realised, she hadn’t asked what actually happened last night.

He was silent, debating about whether to explain or not, but she had been the one to help him, so she had a right know.

“So, remember how you told me I should avoid Tsukiyama yesterday” She nodded as the realisation crept on her face.

“Oh no, he didn’t?”

Kaneki gave a forced smile as in an attempt to relieve some of the tension.

“Well it seems he’s taken an interest in me, especially after figuring out I’m a hybrid”

Touka kept her head down and kaneki couldn’t tell what kind of expression she was making. He was incredibly surprised when she said “I’m sorry” it was so quiet that he wasn’t sure if he actually heard her right.

“Why are you apologising?”

“Because I know the guy, I should haver guessed he’d attack you, especially if he thought you were a human. But I thought he’d back off if he saw you with me and because of that you had to deal with some rough shit.”

Kaneki couldn’t bear to see her face because it was all to familiar, it’s the face he made whenever he felt personally responsible for another person’s harm. He walked briskly to take her hands in his, he couldn’t help but notice they were trembling slightly, she must care deeply for the people she has in her life.

“Touka, this isn’t your fault, I’m the one who let myself get weak from not eating and I’m the one who failed to notice I was being followed. It’s not your responsibility to look after me.”

Touka couldn’t look away from his eyes, they were burning fiercely with a desire she hadn’t seen before. His voice was strong and held conviction which contrasted greatly from his usual, which always seemed timid and unsure of itself. He was giving his full attention to her and she wasn’t sure how to react, she’d never been confronted with something like this by any of her friends much less a boy her age. She couldn’t stop the blush from flaring in her cheeks and it took more willpower then she expected to snatch her hands away.

“Fine, if you wanna be the idiot I won’t stop you. Just look after yourself, Anteiku is here to give people like you food so take it.”

Kaneki just smile back at her, too happy with himself to notice the blush she was trying to hide. The two went back to doing their own things in silence while Touka finished her assignment and Kaneki read his book.

Some time passed before the silence was broken by Touka letting out a loud sigh while stretching her entire body. She turned in her chair to see Kaneki fully engrossed in his book, un-aware that she was done and no longer needed his assistance, but she felt no desire to kick him out. She was just content with watching him. She couldn’t help her small giggles whenever he reacted to something that was happening in the book. It was a far cry from his stoic and sometimes downright moody expression he generally wore.

Kaneki eventually felt the pair of eyes on him and looked up from his book to locks eyes with Touka. This time they both blushed slightly and tried to find anything else to look at in the room.

“S-so you all finished”

“Yeah, thanks again for the help”

“No worries, I like talking about books anyway”

She gave a faux scoff “Nerd”

Kaneki smiled as he marked his page and put the book away. Touka grabbed her phone to check the time. It had gotten pretty late but she didn’t feel tired and she was honestly enjoying the white haired boy’s company. And that’s when a crazy idea popped into her head.

She walked up to Kaneki and poked his forehead to get his attention.

“What do you say to a little sparring match?”


End file.
